An Update

Hello blog friends!

It’s been a while again but we’ve sure been keeping busy.  Good things though.  Daycare, cell group and of course all our church kids whom we love! 

We got a newsletter from the adoption agency!  I didn’t cry this time, but the stats still don’t leave me feeling like our baby is around the next corner.  From January 1-February 23 2011 there were 3 placements (There was 9 total last year).  There are still 68 of us waiting to be chosen for division 2 adoptions.  So at least 3 people this year had their dream come true.  Some day mine will too....someday.

It’s so tempting sometimes to sit down here at the computer and just vent.  To say how unfair life is.  How mad I am sometimes. How my heart feels like it has a giant knife lodged in it.  Those feelings are very real.  I fight them daily.  Those evenings when the house is quiet and I can think of the thousand things I would do if we had a child of our own to entertain and care for.  I know all about tantrums, blow out diapers at the wrong times, screaming in the store, pee on the couch... all those times when kids just want to make you pull your hair out.  But those rough times aren’t all the time. 

I look forward to the day I hold my child in my arms and just know that they are mine. 

I look forward to being the one my child needs and is reaching for.

I look forward to finding the solution when my child is crying.

I look forward to having someone ask me about my child because I will be the mom

I look forward to the day my child says: “That’s my mom!”

I look forward to going into the kids section of the store and it not be for a gift

Lots to look forward to...

Unintentionally, we’ve started an ongoing list of things for “when we have our own kids”  On that list are things like a high chair with wheels, a jogging stroller, brand new toys, little clothes, a bike trailer, a bulky diaper bag... the list goes on and on.  But it’s all those little things that parents get to have and buy for their kids just because they have them.  These are the silly little things I look forward to!

Anyway, I don’t really have much else to say.   Just a few thoughts I had and decided to share.